Last night I went out to a fundraiser we organized at work -- a retro 'prom'. It was seriously fun and I danced the night away in my neon pink dress and leopard print shoes.
Unfortunately I also DRANK the night away and have really been paying for it today. I've done pretty much nothing today except lie on the couch, nap, and watch Full House.
I realized that in addition to 'comfort eating', I also totally have 'comfort television'. I tend to rewatch a lot of television shows -- actually I watch them over and over. And there are just certain shows that always make me feel better. Full House is one of them. I only own season (season 3 -- which has the classic episode where they go to Hawaii!) but I've lost count of how many times I've watched it. And it's always when I'm sick or hungover or particularly upset about something.
Will & Grace is another one I like to watch when I'm sick. I remember when I threw my back out one time, and how I spent about 4 days in bed, doing nothing but watching Will & Grace on my laptop, and how it hurt every time I laughed, which was often.
I watch Grey's Anatomy when I need a good cry. I watch crime dramas in the evenings to relax (currently obsessed with Criminal Minds.) I watch Sex And The City when I'm feeling relationship stress (admittedly, that was much more often when I was single / dating.) I watch 30 Rock or How I Met Your Mother when I'm settling in for the evening with a nice dinner and a glass of wine.
It's funny when I think about it because I realize that there really are a lot of parelels to my eating. I eat when I'm sad or not feeling well or stressed, but I also eat when I'm happy or want to treat myself or celebrate something. And I do the same with TV. And to be honest, I'd probably struggle as much with giving up television as I do with 'dieting'. There's just something about my personality that craves these comforts.
A stranger once came up to me and told me that I was very sensitive. She said that I absorbed too much from the world, too many emotions, that I didn't have the buffers that normal people have. (Yes, she was a total stranger and yes, it was totally weird but kind of eerily accurate too.) Anyway, I tell this story because I think she was right, and because I think that food and television are my buffers. They're my way to soften the things that feel too hard to bear. The things that are too bright or too heavy or too raw. Food and television are safe, familiar, easy.