Today was day 4 of my challenge. Another good day. I finished off my sweet potato hash for breakfast, and had more salad for lunch. I won't bore with you the pictures since it was pretty much identical to yesterday.
After work I stopped at the grocery store, unsure what I was doing for dinner. Pork loin ended up being on sale so I picked up two and threw them on them on the barbecue, with some vegan pesto and garlic.
Mmmm. Look at that crispy meaty goodness. :)
For veggies, I sauteed up some cabbage and carrots with garlic and caraway seeds. I think I've eaten more vegetables in the past four days than I have in the past four MONTHS.
I have lots of pork left over now, so don't be surprised to see it featured in a few upcoming meals.
For those of you that don't know, the challenge I'm doing comes from the folks behind the Whole9 site. I was reading through some of their blog archive yesterday, and I came across across a comment from Melissa, one of the authors, that described the end goal of the challenge as "a healthy, graceful, effortless relationship with food."
As soon as I read that, it was like my whole body said YES. It was the word graceful. That's what I want. A graceful relationship with food.
I've never thought about the word grace in terms of food, but it's the one that really does best describe what I want. I want eating to be easy, pleasurable, elegant. I want to eat food that's lovely, fresh, nourishing. I don't want to feel manic, crazed, obsessive, desperate.
A few weeks ago I had lunch with a friend that I hadn't seen in ages, and at one point the conversation turned to weight (as it always seems to do, when women are talking. Why the heck does that always happen??) Anyway, I found myself talking about my recent weight gain, and I said, "I find as I get older, I don't care as much. I don't care as much about the number on the scale or the size of my pants. I care more about the behaviour. I hate feeling out of control or doing things that I know aren't good for me."
I don't want to spend my life counting calories or points. I don't want to spend my life restricting myself. But I also don't want to spend my life binging and feeling out of control.
I'm still looking for answers. I'm still looking for that path to grace. But it's a worthwhile goal, I think, and I'll keep trying until I get there.