Which is why I decided another 30 day challenge was in order. :) Only this time, I'm shifting gears.
If I had to list the main things my life is focused around, it would be twofold:
I talk about weight all the time. Obviously. (In fact, sometimes I wonder if I'll EVER be truly successful at truly gaining control of it, just because doing so would cause me to lose one of my life's focuses, and then where would I be?? But that's a line of thought for another blog post.)
I don't talk about writing as much, but it's been at the crux of my heart since I was five years old. That was when I wrote my first poem, which my mom still has:
Star, star, under the car
Won't you go up in the sky?
No, no! Not so high!
I'm too shy!
(Kind of a metaphor for my life, if you think about it.)
I was always going to be a writer.
And I AM a writer. These days I work as a government speech writer, and in the past, I've worked as a freelance writer, where I've written for papers and magazines.
But deep down, I'd like to write more creatively. I have so many stories in my head, so many voices clamouring for air time. I'd like to write novels. I'd like to tell those stories -- the ones that aren't real, but could be.
Have you ever heard of NaNoWriMo? It stands for National Novel Writing Month. It happens in November each year -- the goal is to write a 50,000 word novel (or 50,000 words OF a novel) in one month. The goal is to get you over the hump of criticizing and judging your work -- to get you to write for speed instead of analyzing every single word. Very useful for perfectionists like me.
I participated last year. I wasn't blogging at the time, so I never talked about here, but I wrote a truly horrific novel that will never see the light of the day. No, really, it's awful. And I love it. And I'm so glad I did it. That was my practice novel - the one I cut my teeth on. The one that (I hope) I had to get out of the way before I could write a better novel.
I was planning to participate in NaNoWriMo again this year, in November. But recently I found out that they also do a summer version, called Camp NaNoWriMo! Same idea, but in August instead of November.
I've had a story in my head for a couple of months now. A girl's voice came to me on the subway one morning -- just one sentence: "Marsoo and me are twins, 'cept we ain't really." The story came to me later, slowly, in fits and starts, but I think I have it now.
I don't know why I find this so hard to talk about, but I do. I'll broadcast my weight issues to the entire internet, but I struggle to say "I want to write a novel." But I'll say it now; I'll say it anyway. I want to write a novel.
Actually, scratch that. I'm GOING to write a novel. In 30 days. I'll worry about the editing later.