I lost almost 100lbs with Weight Watchers. It took two years, but I did it. I took up running, yoga, cooking.
Then I got lost again. A few things happened -- at work, and in my personal life -- and I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore. So I went back to who I used to be. I went back to what I knew best: food.
I've gained over 60lbs in the last two years. I don't know if I've ever come right out and said that. Sixty pounds. That's a lot. I'm creepy ever so steadily back up to where I was.
This weekend, my back went out. That hasn't happened to me in years, not since I was at my heaviest. Now I'm hopped up on Naproxin and codeine and my hands have the burnt rubber taste from handling a hot water bottle. I can barely go to the bathroom. It hurts to laugh.
I am, to put it plainly, miserable. Not just about my back, but about everything. I'm so sad that I gained all this weight back. Sad, and disappointed, and embarrassed.
I want to do something about it -- if for no other reason than I detest being immobolized like this.
But I don't know what to do. I really don't.
This year I discovered the Whole30, and paleo eating in general. In a lot of ways, I love it. When I'm on it, I'm ON IT. I feel good and unobsessive. But I find it incredibly -- nearly impossible -- to stick to for any sustained length of time. And the second I go off it, I become a MONSTER. I lost 11lbs the last time I did a Whole30 -- great, right? Well, what I didn't mention is that I gained TWENTY pounds over the next two months. I went CRAZY eating all the sugar and carbs and alcohol I'd been missing.
So even though I like eating the Whole30 way, on one level, I don't know that it's a sustainable way of life for me.
So the way I see it, I have three options:
- Try to get back on track with paleo. Cut out sugar and carbs.
- Go back to Weight Watchers. Either use the current program, or the previous program (the one I know worked for me.)
- Straight-up calorie counting. I can focus on trying to keep carbs low, too, if that helps, but, similarly to WW, this would be mean nothing was totally off limits -- just within limits.
So my question for you guys: What would you do? What should I do?
I feel so lost again, like I don't know which way is up. Of course, that might be the codeine talking. But seriously: help?